Ibunka! - Unit 7 / OSF 7

7 Romance and Relationships

One Step Further ACTIVITIES

Here are some more responses from the Ibunka Survey on the topic of romance and relationships. Let’s examine them for underlying cultural trends. We can see that the language in many responses hints at four basic patterns.

)25 7($&+(56

92&$%8/$5<

SURVEY

LOOKING FOR PATTERNS

CULTURAL PATTERN A: Understanding through discussion

CULTURAL PATTERN B: Understanding without words

In some cultures, people believe that it’s important for couples to discuss in depth the issues that they need to make decisions about.

In other cultures, the common assumption is that people should be able to understand their partner’s needs without words, and rely less on rational discussion.

Read through the Ibunka Survey responses below. Highlight in one color the words and phrases that hint at Cultural Pattern A: Understanding through discussion DQG LQ DQRWKHU FRORU WKH SDUWV WKDW UHȵHFW Cultural Pattern B: Understanding without words. You can work and discuss this in pairs or small groups.

.SYJQQJHYZFQQ^ . FR FYYWFHYJI YT YMJ NIJF YMFY UFWYSJWX NS F WJQFYNTSXMNU SJJI YT YFQP NS TWIJW YT ZSIJWXYFSI JFHM TYMJW . But when I think about it, maybe in reality what I really want is for my husband to guess my needs. It makes me feel loved. I think talking things T[JW NX SJHJXXFW^ GZY ZUTS WJƴJHYNTS . ITSƍY XMFWJ R^ TUNSNTSX \NYM R^ UFWYSJW YMFY TKYJS &X KTW TQIJW LJSJWFYNTSX NS R^ MTRJ HTZSYW^ . FR UWJYY^ XZWJ YMFY YMJ^ ITSY [FQZJ INXHZXXNTS GJY\JJS XUTZXJX .S YWFINYNTSFQ (MNSJXJ HZQYZWJ UJTUQJ FWJ XM^ FGTZY J]UWJXXNSL YMJNW SJJIX &KLQHVH IHPDOH RɝFH ZRUNHU OLYHV LQ -DSDQ 1 . YMNSP NYƍX 40 YMFY R^ UFWYSJW HFSƍY LZJXX R^ SJJIX GZY XMJ XMTZQI GJ TUJS YT R^ opinions or requests. I believe that partners should always FWYNHZQFYJ their needs. I think my /FUFSJXJ \NKJ NX RTWJ TK YMJ TUNSNTS YMFY NK ^TZ WJFQQ^ HFWJ KTW XTRJTSJ ^TZ XMTZQI GJ FGQJ YT intuit their needs 9MNX RNLMY J]UQFNS F HTSXYFSY XTZWHJ TK YJSXNTS NS TZW WJQFYNTSXMNU I sometimes feel like she wants me to be a mind-reader, but I just want her to say what she wants. We somehow muddle through FSI T[JW YNRJ MF[J QJFWSY MT\ YT FIOZXY YT JFHM TYMJWƍX XY^QJX $PHULFDQ PDOH XQLYHUVLW\ WHDFKHU OLYHV LQ -DSDQ 2 2^ &ZXYWFQNFS \NKJ FSI . FQ\F^X YFQP FGTZY YMNSLX NK YMJWJ FWJ FS^ issues. We also share TZW SJJIX \NYM JFHM TYMJW XT YMFY \J ZSIJWXYFSI JFHM TYMJW on a better level. $XVWUDOLDQ PDOH VSRUWV FRDFK OLYHV LQ -DSDQ 3 I do think that "unspoken ZSIJWXYFSINSL NX F XNLS TK F HQTXJ WJQFYNTSXMNU GZY open and MTSJXY HTRRZSNHFYNTS NX vital in keeping it strong. 6SDQLVK PDOH XQLYHUVLW\ OHFWXUHU OLYHV LQ 6SDLQ 4 . FR RFWWNJI YT FS &ZXYWFQNFS RFS -JƍX VZNYJ J]UWJXXN[J GZY XTRJYNRJX \MJS MJƍX YFQPNSL he tends to be too long-winded .ƍR STY XYZUNI MJ ITJXSƍY SJJI YT spell things out in so RZHM IJYFNQ . I think that being too FSFQ^YNHFQ takes some of YMJ WTRFSHJ TZY TK F WJQFYNTSXMNU . -DSDQHVH IHPDOH MHZHOOHU\ DUWLVDQ KDV OLYHG LQ $XVWUDOLD 5

1

LQWHOOHFWXDOO\ XSRQ UHȵHFWLRQ

2

WR DUWLFXODWH a WR LQWXLW FRQVWDQW VRXUFH RI WHQVLRQ PLQG UHDGHU WR PXGGOH WKURXJK

3

LVVXH RQ D EHWWHU OHYHO

4

XQVSRNHQ YLWDO

5

H[SUHVVLYH ORQJ ZLQGHG WR VSHOO WKLQJV RXW DQDO\WLFDO WR WDNH WKH URPDQFH RXW RI a

Ʉ One Step Further Ʉ I Ʉ8QLW Ʉ I Ʉ5RPDQFH DQG 5HODWLRQVKLSV 86