OSF4 Textbook

4 Having Guests in Your Home

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CULTURAL PATTERN A: Socializing outside of the home

CULTURAL PATTERN B: Socializing in the home In other cultures, houses welcome guests on a regular basis because having people over for meals, drinks, etc. is considered an important part of friendship. In those cultures, it is important to keep one’s house tidy and accessible enough that you can welcome visitors at any time.

In some cultures, the inside of the house is seen as a private place that people outside one’s immediate circle are not expected to enter. People feel more comfortable getting together in public places like cafes and restaurants.

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9MJ ƳWXY YNRJ . \FX NS[NYJI YT F UFWY^ FY F KWNJSIX MTRJ NS &RXYJWIFR I took an expensive store-bought cake. But when I arrived, I saw that other guests were bringing simple things like a homemade pasta dish, or nothing at all - we were all students on a limited budget. I got used to that relaxed attitude after a while. -DSDQHVH IHPDOH WHDFKHU OLYHV LQ WKH 1HWKHUODQGV 1 The houses I saw in Ireland had a lot of closets. When I returned to Japan, I realized that the stuff I buy tends to pile up around me, because my home has very little storage. I can’t have visitors just dropping by without notice, and if I wanted to invite someone over it would require a lot of preparation, so I hardly ever do it. -DSDQHVH PDOH FRPSDQ\ HPSOR\HH KDV OLYHG LQ ΖUHODQG 2 In Australia, it is very common to invite people over for a meal and/or drinks. It’s not such a big deal for most people. $XVWUDOLDQ IHPDOH FRQVXOWDQW OLYHV LQ -DSDQ 3 I often eat out here in Kyoto where I live. The quality of food and hospitality is really quite high, and the prices pretty cheap, so NYX JFX^ YT ƳSI F LTTI UQFHJ YT XUJSI YNRJ \NYM others. Sometimes I feel parties and events can be a little too stiff and ritualised, but eating out and talking with friends (and co-workers who become friends) is usually lots of fun. $XVWUDOLDQ PDOH WUDQVODWRU OLYHV LQ -DSDQ 4 I usually socialize outside the home, that is, in a cafe or restaurant. I think one of the reasons for this is that inviting someone to your home means inviting them into a very personal and private space, so you have to be careful not to give them the wrong impression. -DSDQHVH PDOH EDQNHU KDV OLYHG LQ )UDQFH DQG &DQDGD 5

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I like having people over to my home to socialize. I love to cook and to host. Unless I was paying for my guests, I would feel cheap inviting people to a restaurant. If I wanted to see my friends, I would invite them to my home. $XVWUDOLDQ *HUPDQ IHPDOH VSHHFK WKHUDSLVW OLYHV LQ $XVWUDOLD 6 Yes, here in Japan things are quite different from France; we don't often invite people to our house, even family. For example, when my Japanese wife’s parents visit, we will pay for a hotel for them, even though they come from far away. They don’t stay long at our place, either. In order to adapt to the local culture and especially to the wishes of my Japanese wife, I have gotten used to not welcoming people to our home very often. I miss it. )UHQFK PDOH SURIHVVRU OLYHV LQ -DSDQ 7 In my experience, Japanese homes are a cluttered mess, especially if kids are involved. Ours is a disaster, and I do not enjoy having people over. After a while, this "who cares" attitude sinks in, and it's just too time-consuming to bother with tidying up. &DQDGLDQ IHPDOH KRPHPDNHU OLYHV LQ -DSDQ 8 I once visited a Japanese colleague without pre-arrangement. This happened by chance; I went hiking, got lost, and stumbled across her residence. She made me wait outside while she tidied YMJ MTZXJ KTW FGTZY ƳKYJJS RNSZYJX GJKTWJ \JQHTRNSL RJ NSXNIJ . This was 35 years ago. I have not visited a Japanese colleague unexpectedly since then. %ULWLVK PDOH FKHI OLYHV LQ -DSDQ 9 Tidying up the house does not seem as important as in France, since the space remains private and will not be seen by outsiders. French people often feel that Japanese homes are cluttered, not managed enough, and that they are not designed to be beautiful on a daily basis. In France, people look for beauty and functionality, but in Japan, I feel people are preoccupied with functionality and don’t worry about beauty. )UHQFK IHPDOH WHDFKHU OLYHV LQ -DSDQ 10 Most Japanese houses I visited were often full to T[JWƴT\NSL \NYM stuff, just piled up. I guess this can largely be put down to the size of houses, or lack of storage options. $XVWUDOLDQ IHPDOH FDUHHU FRXQVHORU KDV OLYHG LQ )UDQFH DQG 0RURFFR 11

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