ibunka TB_U11

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ibunka TB_U11

Unit 11

- Interacting with Strangers

INTRODUCTION TO TEACHERS The Yinal topic of the textbook looks at how we behave around people we don’t know. This is quite an interesting topic to explore from the point of view of Japanese culture, where lines between in-group and out-group are generally quite clearly deYined. We would like students to see that there are striking differences between cultures outside of Japan in regards to how people usually interact with strangers. It may be surprising for them to realize that not all people from foreign cultures are “friendly” and chatty in the way they are sometimes stereotyped.

Part 1 ........................................................................................................155 Part 2 ........................................................................................................157 One Step Further .................................................................................161 Cultural Commentary ........................................................................165

154

UNIT 11 | INTRODUCTION

Part 1

1 - You and Your Culture

Online Form for WARM-UP SURVEY (textbook p.68)

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Online Form for INTERVIEW (textbook p.69)

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Example Sentences for INTERVIEW (textbook p.69) Q1: What would you do if you were on a long elevator ride with a person you didn’t know? • On a long elevator ride, I usually just ignore other people completely. • I would just nod in greeting and then look at my phone. • With a stranger on an elevator ride, I would just ignore them. But if they spoke to me I would talk about the weather. Q2: When would you smile at someone you pass on the street? • I guess I’d smile at my classmates if I passed them on the street. • I would smile at friends and neighbors on the street, and maybe my teachers. Q3: What do you think are appropriate topics for small talk with people you don’t know well? • I think the weather and news or current topics are appropriate topics for small talk with people I don't know well. • I think that the weather or what is around you are the safest topics to talk about with strangers. Q4: Where did you meet your friends at university?

• I usually meet my friends in the same zemi or same class. • I met my closest university friend at our club activities. • I met a really good friend on orientation day. Q5: What do you Yind is the most comfortable way for you to meet new people?

• Being introduced by a mutual friend is the most comfortable way for me to make new friends. • The most comfortable way for me to meet new people is approaching them by myself.

155

UNIT 11 | WARM-UP SURVEY & INTERVIEW

Script for Model INTERVIEW (textbook p.69)

→ Available as audio track “11-00-Interview11” for listening/note-taking practice.

Q1: What would you do if you were on a long elevator ride with a person you didn’t know? Misaki: Hmm. I would probably just give them a little nod to greet them, but then I’d look at my phone the rest of the way. Phones are convenient like that. Q2: That’s true. When would you smile at someone you pass on the street? Misaki: When I see a classmate or someone from school, I deYinitely smile at them. And depending on how I was feeling, maybe my teachers or people from my neighborhood. Q3: What do you think are appropriate topics for small talk with people you don’t know well? Misaki: I guess the standard one is the weather. But then if we’re both looking at our phones, it’s probably not out of place to mention something you saw online or on the news. Q4: Where did you meet your friends at university? Misaki: Most of my closest friends at university have been in the same zemi as me. I’m also close to people I met through club activities. Q5: I see. What do you Yind is the most comfortable way for you to meet new people? Misaki: I’m a bit introverted, so I Yind it quite hard to approach others. I guess I’m most comfortable when a mutual friend introduces me to someone new.

156

UNIT 11 | INTERVIEW

Online Form for EXPRESSION 1 & 2 (textbook p.70)

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Example Sentences for EXPRESSION 1 (textbook p.70) • I think that people in rural areas are more likely than people in urban areas to make small talk with strangers. • I think that foreigners are more likely than Japanese to chat with strangers. • I have the sense that in Japan, young women tend to feel self-conscious among people they don’t know well. • I have the sense that in Japan, men generally tend to avoid eye contact with people they don’t know well. Example Sentences for EXPRESSION 2 (textbook p.70) • My feeling is that it's common for many elderly people in Japan to chat with strangers, but I usually don't. I generally make eye contact and nod in greeting toward strangers. I think that many elderly people love having conversations with people. • My impression is that it's common for many young people in Japan to act politely towards elderly people, and I generally do the same. • My feeling is that it's rare for many young people in Japan to completely ignore strangers (including foreigners), but I generally don't. When I was a high school student, I used to take the 207 bus to school. There were many foreign tourists, and I often talked to them when I was studying for tests with my English or Chinese textbooks. I also remember that they corrected my English homework and taught me how to pronounce the words.

Part 2

t 2 - People in Other Cultures

Online Form for PART 2 (textbook p.71-p.73)

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Answers to COMPREHENSION 1 (textbook p.71) Highlighted words are those from the VOCABULARY boxes.

157

UNIT 11 | EXPRESSION & COMPREHENSION

1 Yuta , Japanese, engineer, has lived in Australia and the UAE I don’t say anything. I act as if no one is there. I think it's the norm in Japan.

TRUE FALSE

→ Yuta feels that his behavior towards strangers is not unusual in Japan.

☑

□

2 Millie , Costa Rican, yoga teacher, lives in Japan I would feel more comfortable behaving as if that person didn’t exist. If I don’t know that person, I don’t see a reason to communicate.

TRUE FALSE

→ Millie would probably ignore anyone who shared an elevator with her.

☑

□

3 Jacques , French, professor, lives in Japan, has lived in the USA In France people usually keep to themselves, or might just say a word of greeting at most. But when I lived in the USA, I was surprised that people would always try to start up a conversation. The same thing happens when queuing for the supermarket cash register. Many American people soon engage in some light conversation. It seems like they feel a need to fill the silence.

TRUE FALSE

→ Jacques found that Americans were usually very quiet when waiting to pay in supermarkets.

☑

□

4 Brent , Australian, lawyer, lives in Japan Once, as I was waiting in line to order in a fast food restaurant in Japan, an American man standing in front of me turned, saw me, and began to chat. This wasn’t so strange for me, since in my country we sometimes make small talk with strangers while we are waiting. It felt pleasant to have a little conversation.

TRUE FALSE

→ Brent was happy to have a little chat with a fellow foreigner.

☑

□

158

UNIT 11 | COMPREHENSION

5 Brent , Australian, lawyer, lives in Japan But as we waited longer for our orders, he started getting more and more personal. He told me what he’d seen and done in Japan, what he did for a living, and then he started telling me about his family. He even got out photos of his children to show me. This felt too sudden and intimate. It was a little embarrassing to me.

TRUE FALSE

→ Brent felt comfortable talking about his family with the man in the queue.

☑

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Answers to COMPREHENSION 2 (textbook p.72)

Example Sentences for DISCUSSION (textbook p.72) • I found Harry’s response to be the most fascinating. It seems suspicious to me to set a welcoming mood for everyone. If I did it, I would only do it for my friends or people I know. • I found Yoko's response to be the most relatable. It seems to me that foreign people smiling at strangers is confusing to Japanese. • I found Brent's response to be the most relatable. I Yind it odd that some people talk about quite personal things with people they don’t know. I had a similar experience. I lived in Malaysia for my father's job. Whenever I went shopping with my family, we were talked to by strangers. 6 Harry, New Zealander, consultant, has lived in Thailand I think I do, probably because I want to be seen by others as a friendly person. I definitely return a smile if I get one first. I try my best to make myself open and set a welcoming mood for others. 7 Yoko , Japanese, English teacher, has lived in the US No, I don't. Smiling at a stranger may be considered suspicious in Japan. In my experience, people in North America are much more likely to talk casually to strangers than in Japan. However, it does not mean that they will become close friends. 8 Yves , French, artist, lives in Japan I don't understand why anyone would smile at strangers on the street for no reason, so I don't do it. If you did that in France, you’d come across as creepy.

159

UNIT 11 | COMPREHENSION & DISCUSSION

Answers to COMPREHENSION 3 (textbook p.73)

9 Megumi, Japanese, interior designer, has studied in the US When I arrived at my host university in Berkeley, California, I was delighted because many people greeted me, smiled at me, and exchanged a few words with me. It felt so open and friendly. Later on, I realized that sometimes this was not as meaningful as I had imagined. But it definitely helped me to make friends there.

TRUE FALSE

→ Megumi realized that in the USA a smile is a clear sign that someone wants to make friends with you.

☑

□

10 Nobu , Japanese, civil servant, has studied in France Nobody spoke to me at all during the first three weeks of my study program in Paris. I was shocked! I was expecting a warm welcome, but I just got ignored. But then one day I had forgotten my textbook and I had to ask some help from another student in my class. She was very nice and helped me a lot. That’s when I understood that you have to take the first step in France. People won’t talk to you just because you happen to be sitting in the same classroom.

TRUE FALSE

→ Nobu was able to make a personal connection with a French classmate once there was a reason to communicate.

☑

□

160

UNIT 11 | COMPREHENSION

One Step Further rther

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Suggested Answers for ONE STEP FURTHER Activities (Google Form)

p.94-p.95 | LOOKING FOR PATTERNS Here are some example answers for the Google form. 1 British / male / translator / lives in Japan Cultural Pattern A: In the U.K, it is fairly common to acknowledge others, and you might even say it’s a social expectation. This can be done with a smile, a nod, or even by saying hello when you enter an elevator, or if you join a queue and you make eye contact with someone 2 Belgian / female / researcher / lives in Japan Cultural Pattern A: none

Cultural Pattern B: In Japan, I have found that a lot of people avoid both eye contact and small talk.

Cultural Pattern B: Usually, on the street I would not address people I didn't know. / I wouldn't mind not talking to someone even if we were in the same space for a longish amount of time.

3 American / male / freelance journalist / has lived in Japan Cultural Pattern A: If I am in a good mood and the person looks receptive, I would probably make a brief general comment on the way up. / I might at least smile or make brief eye contact to say, "yes, here we are, you and me, we are in the same space going to the same place."

Cultural Pattern B: none

161

UNIT 11 | ONE STEP FURTHER

4 French / female / teacher & artist / lives in Japan Cultural Pattern A: none 5 French-Japanese / female / student / lives in Japan Cultural Pattern A: none

Cultural Pattern B: When I meet complete strangers, I am rather neutral

Cultural Pattern B: If someone smiled at me in the street in France, I would be like "Do we know each other?"

6 Italian / female / engineer / has lived in Japan Cultural Pattern A: none

Cultural Pattern B: But otherwise I generally ignore them. Smiling is a way of communicating without words. If I don't feel the need to communicate, I keep a neutral expression on my face.

7 French / male / artist / lives in Japan Cultural Pattern A: none

Cultural Pattern B: I don't understand why anyone would smile at strangers in the street for no reason, so I don't.

8 American / male / architect / has lived in Japan Cultural Pattern A: none 9 American / male / teacher / lives in Japan Cultural Pattern A: I thought French people were so cold at the beginning! I didn’t get a single nod, smile, or word from anyone. But in Japan it’s even worse. I feel that people here don’t even look at each other.

Cultural Pattern B: I feel that Japanese people exchange very few casual conversations with strangers

Cultural Pattern B: none

162

UNIT 11 | ONE STEP FURTHER

11 Interacting with Strangers

One Step Further ACTIVITIES

Here are some more responses from the Ibunka Survey on the topic of interacting with strangers. Let’s examine them for underlying cultural trends. We can see that the language in many responses hints at two basic patterns.

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Read through the Ibunka Survey responses below. Highlight in one color the words and phrases that hint at Cultural Pattern A: Interact with strangers DQG LQ DQRWKHU FRORU WKH SDUWV WKDW UHȵHFW Cultural Pattern B: Ignore strangers. You can work and discuss this in pairs or small groups.

In the U.K, it is fairly common to acknowledge others, and you might even say it’s a social expectation. This can be done with a smile, a nod, or even by saying hello when you enter an elevator, or if you join a queue and you make eye contact with someone. In supermarkets or shops, it is very common for the checkout assistant to start talking to you and it rarely feels contrived. This is something I sometimes miss about the UK. In Japan, I have found that a lot of people avoid both eye contact and small talk, unless you're somewhere where alcohol is being served. %ULWLVK PDOH WUDQVODWRU OLYHV LQ -DSDQ 1 Usually, on the street I would not address people I didn't know. So I wouldn't mind not talking to someone even if we were in the same space for a longish amount of time. But if XTRJTSJ FIIWJXXJI RJ ƳWXY YMJS . \TZQI WJUQ^ YT YMJR PNSIQ^ %HOJLDQ IHPDOH UHVHDUFKHU OLYHV LQ -DSDQ 2 Let’s say .ƍR NS FS JQJ[FYTW \NYM F XYWFSLJW FSI \JƍWJ GTYM MJFIJI YT YMJ YM ƴTTW If I am in a good mood and the person looks receptive, I would probably make a brief general comment on the way up. That is quite a long time to be in the same space as someone and not acknowledge them. I might at least smile or make brief eye contact to say, "yes, here we are, you and me, we are in the same space going to the same place." $PHULFDQ PDOH IUHHODQFH MRXUQDOLVW KDV OLYHG LQ -DSDQ 3

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4 When I meet complete strangers, I am rather neutral, but I smile and say a greeting when I meet a familiar face in my neighborhood or at work, even if I don't know the person. )UHQFK IHPDOH WHDFKHU DUWLVW OLYHV LQ -DSDQ 4

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In certain situations I smile at strangers, like cashiers or moms who are with children who are having a tantrum. But otherwise I generally ignore them. Smiling is a way of communicating without words. If I don't feel the need to communicate, I keep a neutral expression on my face. ΖWDOLDQ IHPDOH HQJLQHHU KDV OLYHG LQ -DSDQ 6 I don't understand why anyone would smile at strangers in the street for no reason, so I don't. But I feel quite comfortable talking and smiling, or even joking lightly if there's a reason for contact, for example when completing a transaction with a shop clerk or asking someone for directions in the street. When I’m back in France, I have also noticed that it’s actually not uncommon for people to offer help to a complete stranger if that person seems to be in trouble. )UHQFK PDOH DUWLVW OLYHV LQ -DSDQ 7 I feel that Japanese people exchange very few casual conversations with strangers. The fact that you use formal language as soon as you speak to a stranger might explain this. It creates a kind of barrier. This is not the case in the States, because people are often TS ƳWXY SFRJ YJWRX from the outset, with people they meet in a casual situation, like at a party, or on campus. It makes it possible to feel "equal". $PHULFDQ PDOH DUFKLWHFW KDV OLYHG LQ -DSDQ 8 Before living in Japan, I lived in Paris for three years. I thought French people were so cold at the beginning! I didn’t get a single nod, smile, or word from anyone. But in Japan it’s even worse. I feel that people here don’t even look at each other. $PHULFDQ PDOH WHDFKHU OLYHV LQ -DSDQ 9

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Write a paragraph on the topic of interaction with strangers. Include your opinions and reactions to the cultural patterns you found in these survey responses.

EXPRESSION

...............................................................................................................................................................................................................

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Cultural Commentary lt l Co entary

Such a long elevator ride We are routinely placed in uncomfortable situations in which other people “invade” our personal space, even in the societies we were born and raised in. Common examples of this are in elevators, or when queuing at the supermarket, or in crowded public transportation. The French ethnologist Raymonde Carroll describes how people from different cultural backgrounds have vastly different reactions to these situations. To summarize Carroll’s model, French people generally ignore the people around them, whereas people from an American cultural background typically engage them in small talk. In this unit, we asked the Ibunka Survey respondents how they act in proximity to strangers- do they acknowledge the person they are forced to share a space with, make small talk, or ignore them? The typical American behavior of making small talk was conYirmed in survey responses, but at the same time it was somewhat qualiYied: “If I am in a good mood and the person looks receptive, I might make a brief general comment on the way to the 20th Yloor. That is a long time to be alone and not acknowledge the other person (if it is just two of you). I might at least smile or make brief eye contact to say, "Yes, here we are, you and me, we are in the same space going to the same place.” The typical French behavior of ignoring strangers was recognized by several European respondents, a Costa-Rican respondent and a number of Japanese respondents. Yuta says on page 71, “I don’t say anything. I act as if no one is there. I think it's the norm in Japan.” Millie agrees on the same page: “I would feel more comfortable behaving as if that person didn’t exist. If I don’t know that person, I don’t see a reason to communicate.” I need my space back Edward T. Hall was the Yirst theorist to Yirmly establish space as a cultural dimension. People are used to certain levels of interpersonal distance that “feel right”. When a Scandinavian person travels to an Arab culture, such as Morocco, chances are that they will feel their personal space is not being respected in daily interactions, and that they will try to retreat by a few centimeters or more when speaking to a shopkeeper, or anyone else for that matter. Carroll’s hypothesis goes one step further in the direction of space as a cultural construct: she posits that, apart from the instinctive stepping back, the behaviors that we adopt when our personal space is uncomfortably curtailed vary according to the cultures we were raised in. In particular, she makes an interesting hypothesis that could explain Americans’ tendency to make small talk in such circumstances: according to her, the function of small talk is to re-establish a comfortable personal distance, that is, by paradoxically keeping others at a distance with a “fence” erected with words. As we saw above, Millie admitted that if she didn’t know a person with whom she shares space such as an elevator or bus queue, she doesn’t see a reason to communicate. For her, communicating is a step towards starting some kind of relationship, so she doesn’t see the point of doing that with a stranger she’ll never meet again. But if Carroll is correct, the small talk employed by people in American culture is not, strictly speaking, enacted in order to “communicate” or strike up friendships; in factm, it is employed for quite contrary reasons. To smile or not to smile The second question we asked in this section of the Ibunka Survey was “Do you generally smile at people you don’t know when you pass them in the street, or on campus, etc? Why or why not?” New Zealander Harry replies, “I think I do, probably because I want to be seen by others as a friendly person. I deYinitely return a smile if I get one Yirst. I try my best to make myself open and set a welcoming mood for others.” (p.72) Conversely, the Japanese and French respondents on the same page state that they do not smile at strangers they pass on the street because they don’t want to be considered “suspicious” or “creepy”. Yves doesn’t understand “why anyone would smile at strangers for no reason”. Again, we come across the idea that in some cultures, looking directly into someone’s eyes and smiling are actions with very deep meanings. In these cultures, these behaviors imply that one wants to enter into some kind of relationship with the person the gaze or smile is directed at. On the street, or in other public spaces such as outdoor cafes, possible reasons for this behavior include wanting to Ylirt with someone, or even provoking a Yight. Poly Pratt explains “You’re free to sweep your eyes over French people if you like the look of them, on a bus or at a party, but not to smile if your eyes meet, which is an American's automatic way of showing he means no harm.” “For strangers to smile at each other in Paris, there has to be some kind of incident involving them both, and not just stumbling into someone’s stare.”

165

UNIT 11 | CULTURAL COMMENTARY

Making friends Such diverging cultural habits obviously make for powerful culture shocks, and a range of experiences that might be had abroad. Japanese respondent Megumi relates on page 73, “When I arrived at my host university in Berkeley, California, I was delighted because many people greeted me, smiled at me, and exchanged a few words with me. It felt so open and friendly. Later on, I realized that sometimes it was not as meaningful as I had imagined. But it deYinitely helped me to make friends there.” On the other side of the spectrum, former foreign student Nobu shares a similarly surprising experience. “Nobody spoke to me at all during the Yirst three weeks of my study program in Paris. I was shocked! I was expecting a warm welcome, but I just got ignored. But then one day I had forgotten my textbook and I had to ask some help from another student in my class. She was very nice and helped me a lot. That’s when I understood that you have to take the Yirst step in France. People won’t talk to you just because you happen to be sitting in the same classroom.” These cultural differences in the process of going from being strangers to friends are not so apparent to students, but are especially important for them to know if they want to make connections with people from different cultural backgrounds. References and further reading • Carroll, R. (1988), Cultural Misunderstandings : the French-American experience , Chicago : University of Chicago Press

• Hall, E.T. (1966), The Hidden Dimension . New York: Doubleday • Platt, P. (1994), French or Foe? London: Culture Crossings • Why Some Cultures Frown on Smiling ( The Atlantic article)

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UNIT 11 | CULTURAL COMMENTARY

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