ibunka TB_U10

10 Asking a Favor

One Step Further ACTIVITIES

Here are some more responses from the Ibunka Survey on the topic of asking favors. Let’s examine them for underlying cultural trends. We can see that the language in many responses hints at two basic patterns.

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SURVEY

LOOKING FOR PATTERNS

CULTURAL PATTERN A: Ask favors directly In some cultures, it is considered respectful to ask favors from friends and acquaintances in a straightfoward manner.

CULTURAL PATTERN B: Ask favors indirectly In other cultures, hinting at one’s problem and ZDLWLQJ IRU IULHQGV DQG DFTXDLQWDQFHV WR R΍HU WKHLU help is considered respectful.

Read through the Ibunka Survey responses below. Highlight in one color the words and phrases that hint at Cultural Pattern A: Ask favors directly DQG LQ DQRWKHU FRORU WKH SDUWV WKDW UHȵHFW Cultural Pattern B: Ask favors indirectly. You can work and discuss this in pairs or small groups.

. YMNSP /FUFSJXJ UJTUQJ YJSI YT HMFSLJ YMJNW XY^QJ IJUJSINSL TS Y\T YMNSLX \MFY \J WJ asking for, and who we're asking. For example, I can ask a family member or close friend for anything directly, but if the person I need a favor from and I have a less intimate relationship, I carefully consider the timing and how I should communicate even the smallest request. -DSDQHVH IHPDOH SURMHFW PDQDJHU KDV OLYHG LQ WKH 8. 1

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I think that Americans have no qualms about saying "no" to requests from others. So in a way, it's quite easy to ask for help. If they can’t do it (or won’t do it), they will let you know honestly. In the case of Japanese people, I feel I have to always be cautious. -DSDQHVH PDOH VWXGHQW OLYHV LQ WKH 86 2

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Living in Japan, I have had some unpleasant experiences with people who give gifts as an indirect way of asking for future favors. It feels quite uncomfortable to me. )UHQFK PDOH WHDFKHU OLYHV LQ -DSDQ 3

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In Japan, I have noticed that sometimes when colleagues ask me for a favor there is an unspoken expectation that I do what is requested. Although the phrasing of the question may make it sound like there’s a choice, the subtext is that I am expected to do it, regardless of how I might feel about it. &DQDGLDQ PDOH WHDFKHU OLYHV LQ -DSDQ 4

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I have the impression that Japanese people tend to avoid asking directly for help, perhaps because it makes them accountable to the person who helped. %ULWLVK IHPDOH ELRORJLVW OLYHV LQ -DSDQ 5

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