ibunka-manuel-complet-01-09 (1)

7 Romance and relationships

One Step Further ACTIVITIES

Here are some more responses from the Ibunka Survey RQ WKH WRSLF RI LQWURGXFLQJ RQHVHOI :H FDQ VHH WKDW most responses fall into two basic patterns:

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SURVEY

LOOKING FOR PATTERNS

CULTURAL PATTERN A: Understanding through discussion

CULTURAL PATTERN B: Understanding without words

In some cultures, people believe that it’s important for couples to discuss in depth the issues that they need to make decisions about.

In other cultures, the common assumption is that people should be able to understand their partner’s needs without words, and rely less on rational discussion.

Read through the Ibunka Survey responses below. Highlight in one color the words and phrases that hint at Cultural Pattern A: Understanding through discussion , and in another color the parts that show Cultural Pattern B: Understanding without words. You can work and discuss this in pairs or small groups.

Intellectually, I am attracted to the idea that partners in a relationship need to talk in order to understand each other 'ZY \MJS . YMNSP FGTZY NY maybe in reality what I really \FSY NX KTW R^ MZXGFSI YT LZJXX R^ SJJIX .Y RFPJX RJ KJJQ QT[JI . YMNSP YFQPNSL YMNSLX over is necessary, but ZUTS WJƴJHYNTS . ITSƍY XMFWJ R^ TUNSNTSX \NYM R^ UFWYSJW YMFY TKYJS As for older generations in my home country, I am pretty sure that they don't value discussion GJY\JJS XUTZXJX .S YWFINYNTSFQ (MNSJXJ HZQYZWJ UJTUQJ FWJ XM^ FGTZY J]UWJXXNSL YMJNW SJJIX &KLQHVH IHPDOH RɝFH ZRUNHU OLYHV LQ -DSDQ 1 . YMNSP NYƍX 40 YMFY R^ UFWYSJW HFSƍY LZJXX R^ SJJIX GZY XMJ XMTZQI GJ TUJS YT R^ TUNSNTSX TW WJVZJXYX . GJQNJ[J YMFY UFWYSJWX XMTZQI FQ\F^X articulate YMJNW SJJIX . YMNSP R^ Japanese wife is more of the opinion that if you really care for someone, you should be able to intuit YMJNW SJJIX 9MNX RNLMY J]UQFNS F constant source of tension in our relationship: I sometimes feel like she wants me to be a mind-reader GZY . OZXY \FSY MJW YT XF^ \MFY XMJ \FSYX

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